In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Randomize
