party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
