And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
