youre lurking in front of me
She is in my trunk
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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