the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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