I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
