you have to choose: penises or morals?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I need moral support for this bender
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
