Quick, to the slutcave!
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
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