are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Barsexuality is the new black.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
