I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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