Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize
