No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
