he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
