butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Vodka?
Forever.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
