if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
