your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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