I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
