Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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