You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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