I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
