Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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