I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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