Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
He felt like a one man threesome
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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