Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Randomize
