Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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