Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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