I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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