She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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