He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
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