So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize