I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
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