Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
