grandma shit on top of the toilet
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
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