had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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