The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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