if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
