remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Randomize
