Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
