I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
wow bdsm is so cute
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