would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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