Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
you never un-have a 4some
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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