Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
