He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
