i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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