I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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