she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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