Im at strip club and am horny
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
