I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Randomize
