I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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