I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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