We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
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