he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
