i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
