idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
