They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
