in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
