why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
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