a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
we're making bets on your personal life
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize