He disabled his match.com account in front of me
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
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