My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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