Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
