you're like a bully in the Christmas story
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
