i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
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