i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Randomize
