HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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