i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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