hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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