We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Randomize
