Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
