how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
