You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
