no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
