You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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