no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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