So drunk its hurt
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
