i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize
