I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
