She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
