So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Reggie can tackle my bush.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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